Let’s Hear It for Today’s Grandparents

R.J. Ward

Last December my wife and I ventured to California. We had volunteered to take care of our two grandkids. Unfortunately, we had just returned to SaddleBrooke. As snowbirds, we typically return in early October. However, after coming down with COVID, we returned in November. So, it was a short turnaround.

Our daughter-in-law (DIL) had a business trip planned, and our son would be accompanying her. Our trip was to Northern California. Our assignment involved child-minding for four days. The first two days included taking the 5- and 11-year-old to school and then picking them up. Were we in for a surprise. Now, I realize that it’s been a few years since I went to school. And I realize that things change. Yikes! First of all, my wife went on a dry run with the DIL to drop off the kids and get the hang of things. She said that they would be back in about 35 minutes.

That confused me. I knew that one school was about a mile away and the other around three miles away. I asked, “Why 35 minutes?” One-word response: “Traffic.” I was even more confused. We had visited them many times, and we had not seen much traffic.

The next day, we became instantly educated. Hundreds of parents were dropping off their kids. When I attended elementary school, I don’t recall one kid being dropped off. I know … things have changed. We witnessed huge SUVs (it doesn’t snow there) jockeying for position. The entry to the first school has three lanes, with three safety guards directing traffic, patrolling the crosswalks, and barking out orders. And were the parents aggressive! The first stop at the elementary school took around 15 minutes. Not too bad, all things considered. The next stop was the middle school. It was way worse. However, the DIL had passed on some strategy. She had shown us how to park in the neighborhood near the school. However, we weren’t the only ones. Cars were parked on both sides of the street, in front of houses. Did they buy their house knowing that they were right next to a twice-per-day slugfest?

Finally, mission accomplished. A bit fragile, we headed home, ready for a double martini. Along the way, we witnessed something peculiar. It appeared that the kids who weren’t able to hitch a ride in a huge, oversized, monster SUV or Humvee were riding electric bikes, scooters, or skateboards. This is all fine and well, but 5- and 6-year-olds? And, of course, most did not wear a helmet. And most were going full throttle. The afternoon pick-up was no different. Massive traffic jams and aggressive parents.

Now, let’s talk lunches. When I was going to school, my mom made me a tuna fish sandwich. Every day. Forever. That was it. A sandwich. I would eat my sandwich, fold up the paper bag and put it in my back pocket, and head for the water fountain. Did you know that a paper bag can last for an entire school year? Neither did I. It turns out my father was right. It took around 20 minutes to assemble their lunches. I’m talking cold packs, an appetizer, two courses, a dessert, and a thermos with a fancy beverage.

The weekend came, and things went smoothly. We bonded with the grandkids and hopefully passed on some of our worldly wisdom. Our son and DIL were very appreciative. We spent a few days in Lake Tahoe then started our 15-hour trip back to the ‘Brooke. Reflecting on our trip, we thought about our relationship with the grandkids and how it compared to our relationship with our grandparents. Back in the ‘50s and ‘60s, grandparents were fairly stationary. We went to them. Over the years, things changed. People now live longer and are much more active and more mobile. Studies show that today’s grandparents have a closer relationship and an enduring influence on their grandkids. And most grandparents today believe that they were better at parenting than their kids today. But that’s a whole different subject.