Suzanne Marlatt Stewart
I want to preface this article by saying this does not apply to all men in our age bracket, but talking to several women in our community, it is a concern. I think part of the issues with senior men is the difference in how they were brought up. Don’t show emotions, marriage roles defined, their job was their identity, and it was an era when more men were in military war zones. Confronting the topics of relational effort, prioritizing self-care, cherishing connections, embracing communication skills, and remaining open to change can be discussed and encouraged. There’s still an abundance of living to experience and enjoying a purposeful life.
Joseph Burns, a freelance writer, covers health reform articles. He states the following: “As men travel through the various seasons of life, there are profound pieces of understanding they often fail to grasp until later years. Certain vital truths around relationships, health, balance, emotional skills, and personal expansion tend to escape men. However, integrating these four life lessons promises the possibility of yielding wiser priorities and greater male fulfillment.”
1. Relationships Require Constant Effort and Compromise
Men often take their spouses, families, and close friendships for granted. They assume these bonds will endure, regardless of attention, empathy, and compromises made. However, healthy relationships demand consistent effort—they cannot thrive independently without active engagement.
It means actively listening, expressing affection, planning meaningful time together, and showing emotional availability. It requires setting ego aside to admit faults, seek counsel, and open communication.
2. Good Health and Self-Care Must Become Priorities Before It’s Too Late
Far too often men disregard their bodies and mental health, assuming youth or luck will protect them indefinitely. They abuse their physical limits in pursuit of goals, subsist on unhealthy diets, ignore growing stress levels, and reject the notion of integrating a self-care regimen. However, around middle age, the consequences of these negligent behaviors surface through weight gain, burnout, declining energy levels, insomnia, and emotional volatility. Some learn this truth through a severe diagnosis or warning sign.
3. Emotional Intelligence and Communication Matter
Many men move through life suppressing emotions, avoiding difficult conversations, and lacking the language to express psychological needs or ask for help. However, bottling up feelings limits intimate connections. Failing to communicate honestly breeds resentment and harms relationships.
4. It’s Never Too Late for Personal Growth
Too often men cling to old perspectives and patterns far beyond their usefulness—stunting possibilities. Yet, new passages of purpose and joy reveal themselves by opening our minds to varied viewpoints and change.
In November we celebrate Veterans Day. Many husbands and relatives in our age group are veterans, and because of their service time, they have suffered both physically and mentally. I encourage veterans, both men and women, to get support. There are many opportunities available for help.
We are all works-in-progress at any age. Embrace each opportunity and life’s lessons to grow. Encourage your husbands. The rewards are worth it.
Rev. Suzanne, a resident of SaddleBrooke, is an independent writer and speaker. She was ordained non-denominational, representing all faiths, and her focus is “inclusive.” Email: [email protected]