Preserve welcomes Newbie Bunch with brunch


Ann Lange

Once a year the Neighborhood Newbies rendezvous for an orientation to learn everything they always wanted to know about The Preserve Burbs but were afraid to ask. Bonnie Barazani, Activities Chair, gave the skinny on all the ins ‘n outs of the stomping grounds, like how to properly pronounce Gwiazdowski and Gsching, where you can get some of that magic fertilizer to make your saguaros grow tall and fast like the ones on the hill, and all the local conveniences at the commercial center on SaddleBrooke Boulevard, where local yokels swing by for an eyebrow trim, fill up a tank of gas, mail a package, pick up a six-pack of Depends, and eat fresh donuts daily all in one stop.

Forty-three recent arrivals were greeted on Sunday, February 11 with a mimosa and broken in with a brunch that taught them to eat with gusto like the well-seasoned trailblazers, prompting inquiries as to the best places to make bulk purchases of spandex, elastic waist bands and muumuus. The Welcome Wagon parked on the patio of Fred and Bonnie Barazani overlooking the incredible Catalina canvas, and spread a bountiful buffet of brunch enchiladas, oven baked French toast, bacon, sausage, fruit and coffee cake. The new kids on the block went around the circle and took turns giving their own intro, telling where they came from, the party street and geezer crossing of their new digs, and the interests and passions that put a twinkle in their wrinkle. Not a one so much as mentioned their past life or employment, which just goes to show how easy it is to adjust to the new retirement office – The SaddleBrooke Senior Playground – where we have given up pay for play, money business for monkey business, and PhDs for PHDs (Preserve Happy Days). Retirement here is exhausting – the first seven days of the week are the busiest, no one can remember what a weekend is, no one asks what day it is anymore because the answer is always “Play Day,” and there’s never a day off! The Newbie Brunch is the start of close camaraderie and lasting friendships. New playmates will become best buds, deliver hot soup after hip replacements, laugh together at dance class, loan a tablespoon of MiraLAX, hug through hardships, and still be an old friend when a long-time pal thinks they are a new friend.

Yep, life in the SaddleBrooke Sandbox is mighty good for Old Hoodsters and New Hoodsters alike. It isn’t hard to look busy having fun around here, where the good times and good eats start around brunch time, the little hand is always stuck on five, and the quality of daily life is easy to gauge. The Heliometer shows sunshine on steroids, the Pyrometer bongs like a bar bell when it’s time to sip, the Odometer is spinning but indicates so much more good stuff yet to come, the Speedometer witnesses life in the fast lane, the Electrometer confirms the presence of energizer bunnies, and the Audiometer measures so many decibels on the Laff-o-Meter that it makes the Bomb-biggity Barometer go ballistic. Friends who play together stay together, so beware, should your good times register anywhere at all on the Micrometer, the Playground Patrol will be stopping by with a truckload of Friendlies for an intervention to get your giggity reset.

Welcome, Newbies – there’s plenty of room in the playpen, so get your big toys ready, and let the adventures begin!