Grief: Am I doing it right?

Dolores Hutchinson Robu

When a person experiences the loss of a loved one there is a scramble of thoughts that run through their mind. If they have ever read an article or a book on the subject they begin to wonder—am I doing this right? Right? What is right? What do I feel? I don’t feel. That is the issue of or protection of shock. Sometimes it goes on for hours, days, months, with little snippets of reality.

Then come those questions: Am I doing this right? What about anger? Sure I cry; is that the sadness people talk about? If I sit in a corner and sob, will I stay there forever? It is all a jumble. People tell me I should be getting out—well, sometimes I think that I will but then—sometimes I’d rather not get out of bed.

Then I see others who are flying around as if it is all just fine and they are happy and getting out with new friends. Maybe even starting to date or think about dating. There seems to be no pattern, no time frame, no road map for grief or for the public part of mourning. It somewhat depends on our cultural and religious background, support system and our own personality. No matter, the one factor that holds true for everyone is that we, the grievers, tend to bounce around through the different stages of grief.

If you have recently experienced the death of a relative or friend, you might feel the need to reflect on your own arrangements for your funeral plan and final resting place. No one likes to think too much about no longer being around, but planning for your future is one way to reach peace of mind that your last wishes will be respected. For more information, contact Riemann Family Funeral Homes or a funeral service closer to home.